So first off I want to start by saying that this post is not meant to offend. It is just some of my thoughts but as this journal may be read by others I wanted to make a note of that.
My two best friends and I decided around the same time that we were all ready to have children. We are all approximately the same age (within about 6-8 months). We all have access to the same medical care and are in the same approx "class" in terms of income, etc. We are all approximately in the same physical health, save one thing. I am overweight (obese) and my friends are both in the healthy weight range. Now I have read and learned over the years that obese women have a harder time conceiving and may have more complications during pregnancy, labour etc then a woman of a healthy weight, and so going into this process several years ago when deciding to try conceiving our first child I had all this in my mind and was aware that it could possibly be a long road for us.
Well, one of my friends conceived first but miscarried shortly after they found out they were expecting. A month or so later they conceived again and this baby stayed with them and they now have a beautiful daughter.
I conceived a month after they did and had absolutely no complications during my pregnancy. My son was born approx 5 weeks after their daughter was.
About 3 months into my pregnancy, my other friend conceived but like the first friend miscarried a few weeks after they found out they were expecting. And then conceived again approx 3 months later and now have a beautiful son.
I know the statistics say that 33% of women will miscarry a pregnancy, but even in the beginning I wondered why my two friends who were considered more "fit" then I am would be the one's to miscarry and not myself who statistically/medically was supposed to have more issues???
Well, 9 months ago, my husband and I decided it was time to try and conceive our second child. It did take a little bit longer, taking 3 cycles to happen instead of just one. But it happened and even through a very tough move and several illnesses that had me losing weight and being physically ill for weeks we are now 6 months pregnant with no complications with the baby (knock wood).
My two best friends have both since conceived and both since miscarried for their second time. One was upset and relieved at the same time as the second pregnancy had not been planned and she was not really ready for another child yet. She also didn't realize she was pregnant until just days before she miscarried. My other friend was ready and so very excited once again as she has been ready to be a mother for so long. But on the weekend she began to miscarry and lost the fetus. I am so very sad for her loss and her pain and can feel her heart breaking once again.
So I started to wonder once again... why are these two healthy friends having more issues carrying a child then myself???
And I started thinking about all the images over the last many hundreds of years that depict birthing/mother goddesses, and they are often large voluptuous women. Large hips, bum, breasts...very much like I currently am. Now I don't know anything about the past birthing history and if women who were more voluptuous in the past had an easier time carrying children to term... but why is this image chosen for birthing/mother goddesses and is there something about being more voluptuous that aids in holding a child within? I'm not in any way trying to justify my weight... I'm just curious....
